Dec 2 8:38am

im supposed to do these first thing in the morning. still failing at that but hey at least im committing to do them once a day. waking up at 5am has been working save from the fact that i go right back to sleep for like an hour. Im not feeling this daylight saving thing in 2020. when i was working out side more and my son actually went to school it was a lil easier but its tough to be honest. Self discipline is something I have but it varies and I usually use blame as a scape goat so like if I dont have someone rocking with me on my goals my goals fall apart. its a weird thing to come to terms with seeing as how Im a LONER. I get more done when im working solo but i miss the company. I dont miss the distractions but I do miss the comfirmation of hey this sounds dope or you should try this instead. that being said i guess my struggle is staying consitent with the faith that what im actually working on is gonna make an impact. and right now that impact has to CONTRIBUTE to my finances. I wrote and article for the boston compass based on the grant it was great to get my monies for that. It kinda made me feel like WOW ok so you are a writer that gets paid... interesting. Its very similar to when I got my first placement it was like damn son u can actually do this. trust me it took years but that feeling was GREAT!!!!!!!! i gotta hold on to that. Performing to crowds that LOVE and ADORE the music. EPIC as well. Anyways Im doing this in the middle of a mixing sessions but I needed to express this. Thanks to Brian Koppelman for helping me get thru A LOT of insecurities like my fear of certain supplements and thinking I can just power thru LIFE without the right type of energy.