Dec 5 2020 6:54am

im really not sure how 3 days go by and I dont take the time to just spend a few minutes writing down my thoughts LIKE what exactly was I doing. I cant even wrap my head around what i was even doing at the time right now I m back from an airport run and listening to Daniel Ek and Tim Ferriss. I used to spend SOOOOOO much time listening to TIM and other podcasts that kept my mind sharp and had be consistentl chasing greatness. Im not sure what happened in the COVID months but My GOD if i dont feel like I didnt do am NOT doing HAVE NOT DONE enough well these are all understatements. I feel like ive lost trust in others and in myself I feel like ive lost patience for sure with others and myself and maybe I should have listened to the ALCHEMIST more and zone in and stay on point. I was thinking today that and this is totally random that its NOT AN EMPTY calorie if you make it for yourself and AND if you had fun making it. HOW DOES THAT ONE GRAB YOU? Sometimes I get really caught up about WHY we create like what am I doing what am I leaving behind. where does this go from here? But I think that should kinda make it easier to create but it actually makes it harder to BE HONEST. I wonder HOW Im gonna get over that HUMP and change that. Some things u just kinda DO YOU OPEN UP and YOU BREATHE and YOU LET IT GO YOU NEVER REALLY think about it. YOU JUST do it Im struggle with my insecurities in a HUGE way. lets see how I navigate that this week. I have a tremendous about of reading to do and I have ALOT of growth that is still yet undone as I said lets see how that all grows out.