Return to the Throne

Ever had that moment where you look up from your life and realize you've been shrinking? Like you’ve been folding and editing yourself just to keep peace, to be liked, or to keep a relationship from tipping over? Yeah. Same. This isn’t about being dramatic. This is about **finally calling yourself back to center.** For me, it hit in one-on-one relationships. The people closest to me. The ones I tried to love through their silence, their mood swings, their refusal to heal. And I realized something: I was stepping out of my own house to make space for people who didn’t even wipe their feet at the door. So now? I’m reclaiming my space. My voice. My **throne.** Not in an arrogant way—but in a way that says: “I trust myself now. Fully.” --- I've been reflecting on characters like Tony Soprano, Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, and Saul Goodman. They all started out with real intentions—to protect, to build, to survive. But somewhere along the way, they traded parts of themselves for control. For validation. For revenge. Then there's Jon Snow. Honorable. Loyal. But loyal to systems and people who would never return it. He kept showing up for everyone… and ended up alone. That woke something up in me. **That won’t be my story.** --- And then there’s Elphaba. You know, from *Wicked*? Her moment in *Defying Gravity* hits different when you’ve been misunderstood for being powerful. She wasn’t rebelling—she was returning. Refusing to apologize for her magic. She flew. And so will I. --- So here’s where I stand: I’m not too emotional. I’m not too deep. I’m not too loud. I’m not too much. I’m just not shrinking anymore. Not in love. Not in friendships. Not in family dynamics. And definitely not in rooms that only clap for versions of me they can control. --- I wrote an oath for myself—a reminder for every time I feel the pull to fold, fix, or chase. **OATH OF POWER WITH LOVE** I am the throne and the fire. I carry truth in one hand, love in the other. I do not dominate to protect. I do not shrink to be loved. I speak calmly—because I am certain. I walk away—because peace is expensive. I protect my heart—without turning it to stone. I refuse to become a god in a kingdom of ashes. I refuse to be a savior who bleeds out silently. I lead with love. I move with power. I rise in both. --- To any fellow creatives who’ve been holding it all in, trying to stay small enough to be loved, liked, or accepted: You’re not alone. You’re not wrong. You’re not crazy. You’re just waking up. And when you do, it’s time to come home to yourself. Say it with me: **“I return to the throne.”**